Saying Goodbye

My Grandma was one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known. She gave constant love and support freely and openly to anyone who needed or wanted it. She truly was a person who would do anything for anyone, no matter the circumstance.

I can remember so many great memories growing up with her and Pawpaw. I used to see Grandma every day at daycare, from age 2 until 12. She loved that daycare and every child, no matter who they were or how they acted. The older I got, I used to love to listen to her talk about the kids – she was always so proud of each of their accomplishments and that never changed. She made it a point to keep in touch with so many of them and their families – that was a huge source of joy in her life.

Her relationship with Pawpaw was so great – not many people get to see a couple so in love for so many years but I’ve been blessed with seeing that in my grandparents and in my parents’ relationships. Grandma and Pawpaw used to pick at each other constantly – it was hilarious. I would sit in the living room with Pawpaw while Grandma was nagging him from the kitchen – I can still remember the giant grins he’d get on his face as he’d say one thing after another just to get a reaction from her…then he’d look over at me and make a face and laugh and laugh. Oh so much laughter – Grandma never missed a chance to tell the story of how hard Pawpaw had to chase her before she FINALLY agreed to go out on a date with him. After all, he was younger and she didn’t want anything to do with some silly boy who was chasing her all the time – Pawpaw would just shake his head, although he’d never deny her story. He was truly the love of her life – they were soulmates and best friends and today I find peace in knowing they are together again, side by side, hand in hand, I’m sure.

Last night someone told me that Grandma was a spiritual hero – what a great description of my Grandma. For so long I’ve looked up to her and learned so much from her – her faith was strong and I always wanted to be more like her, in so many ways. She never missed a chance to tell me how God was working in her life. She loved her church, adored her family and friends but above all, she loved the Lord…her faith was an inspiration to us all.

There are so many things I’d love to tell you about my Grandma - She made the best forgotten cookies every holiday for me, they were my favorite holiday dessert. She could play a mean game of dominos and just when you think you were going to beat her, she’d sneak away with a win… it happened every time. She loved burnt bread – even when the family was all gathering to eat…she had no problem burning all of our dinner rolls, that’s what she called ‘well done bread’. Grandma had more Christmas decorations than any one person needs in an entire lifetime – decorating for the Christmas season was an entire event every year. Blue was her favorite color – I may have the only Grandma who had a blue and white lit Christmas tree….and it was beautiful, every year. Every year we’d read the Christmas story together as a family and sing carols on Christmas Eve – it was her favorite time of year….

I could go on and on with so many special memories of such a special lady…there just isn’t enough time to share them all......

My Dear Sweet Grandma,
I will miss you terribly – I already do. You taught me so many things, you helped make me who I am. I promise to remember all the wonderful things about you – all of our talks and tears and laughs and hugs. You and Pawpaw will be a part of me and our family forever. One day my children will know all about you, all about their wonderful Great-Grandma and even though I know you won’t be here in person, I hope and pray they will see you through me. I will continue to follow the Lord and let Him guide my life, the same way you lived your days here and the path you taught me to follow.

The last time I saw you, I wished and prayed for God to give you peace – to stop the pain and give you comfort during the challenges you were facing. We talked about life – silly things that really don’t matter but made that small amount of time feel as normal as possible. Your hands and lips were dry so I rubbed lotion on them – hoping to soothe even if only in the smallest way. I always just wanted to make it better Grandma – to help you feel better, and I thank the good Lord above that you are finally at peace.

Your last words to me and mine to you Grandma – from that awful hospital room that I so desperately didn’t want to leave – your last words – I Love You.
Grandma, you were one of the greatest loves of my life and always will be. You said it simplest and best in one simple word you wrote in the card for my wedding…

Always.

Yours always, my sweet Grandma. Your Pistol Pete. Your Jenn.